Arizona

Arizona

A movie set in the suburbs of Phoenix, written for Seth Rogen.

This movie combines elements of Knocked-up, Pineapple Express and Goodwill Hunting, with an ending designed to encourage the audience to believe in self. This script is written with consideration for the quirky, naïve sensibility exhibited in both Knocked-up and Pineapple Express where the non-hero triumphs after generous application of a good natured, never quit as long as it’s convenient attitude.

But the casual good humor Seth Rogen normally portrays in his roles is combined with darker tones reminiscent of Goodwill Hunting along with a message of redemption and self-discovery realized through the vehicle of an unlikely Yoda-like character conveyed in an Asian American biology and botany researcher whose self-avowed mission in life is to deliver to the world the most badass marijuana.

The plot will follow our star from the nascent years of high school where he starts as a borderline nerd. Our main character’s ambitions are simple – a predetermined plan for yearbook ascendancy bundled together with a desire for academic distinction all for the purposes of college matriculation. But because of a series of events triggered by the faltering health of his first mentor figure and the subsequent machinations of the first villain of the movie, his well-laid plans are thwarted. When Christine Bumps, our nascent Othello’s first nemesis undermines his Yoda-like teacher by leading an anti-drug rally, our character’s life is turned upside down as all of his preconceptions of right and wrong are turned on end. Our star’s mentor has been dosing with medical marijuana openly to deal with his cancer. He’s made full disclosure of the fact to all parents, teachers and school officials.

The resulting epiphany earned by challenging preconceived notions launches our star on a path that includes random McJobs such as painting tree trunks with white paint in a senior community and unlikely friendships with a motley group of lovable losers.

Our high school scenes will include an homage to Fast Times at Ridgemont High with our star ordering a pizza during Christine Bumps class.

Though our high school scenes will only occupy ten minutes of the movie, the scenes will provide a moral foundation that will inform our star’s behavior for the rest of the journey. When certain previously unassailable precepts of our main actor are invalidated by a tragic turn, our star’s approach to life is forced to embrace the strange and unexpected. An altered approach that reroutes the star from a predetermined track headed for college and career and instead propels him towards a quirky Quixotic journey with lovable ensemble of losers living far below each characters’ native potential. By the end of the movie, all will be set right in the classic tradition of comic theater that would comfort an Athenian. Arizona is a movie that would make Northrup Frye proud.

And we have monkeys.

Opening sequence, rip-off Simpsons, they rip-off everybody else.

Origin, exposition, introduction to first mentor, declaration of hopes and dreams, best yearbook ever

Dr. Ruth Westheimer foreshadowing of Christine Bumps self-pleasure and upside-down stock tables to cover-up

Say no to drugs

Mentor diagnosed with pancreatic cancer

Mentor dosing with medical marijuana

Christine Bumps campaigns against degenerate drug user, drives mentor out of school and usurps yearbook advisership Say No to Drugs

Star present when mentor dies, funeral scene, speaks at funeral

Tries to make it on yearbook, resigns when Christine Bumps insists on a layout with watermarks of daisies and doilies

Pizza ordering scene, father and principal reminisce, impressed our star knows the classics

Decides to try drugs since everything Christine Bumps says or does seems wrong

Dissolve, five years later, side of a road, star painting tree trunks counting time

Driving back home after work is finished, picks-up hippie hitchhiker, finds out hippie is a marijuana grow consultant and that myth of miracle marijuana at ASU is real

Schemes to get a job as janitor at ASU to get access to marijuana

Interview scene

Sneaking-out marijuana, gets caught, meets second Yoda, mentor

Yoda insists only legal, makes star and motley group of friends to come up with legitimate indications for medical marijuana before he writes a script for dispensation

Yoda origin montage, rip-off Harold and Kumar montage with anthropomorphized bag of marijuana, Yoda raising marijuana with dad who says “your grandfather had acres of these back home in China”

Crew sees Yoda’s monkeys doing really smart things, like writing out elaborate equations, decides the marijuana imparts superhuman intelligence to imbibers

Enters quiz show, goes up against nerd/nemesis from high school, competes for old high school crush, now dating nemesis on opposing quiz team for a million dollars

Loses access to marijuana when nemesis2 teams with nemesis1(Christine Bumps) to jail Yoda

Motley crew comes close with miracle marijuana but loses, earns respect of opponents, girl

The moral of the story and that’s just one superfreaky monkey, he can’t solve the equations

Black Coq scene

Cut, NORML Rally with George Soros on stage, sponsored by Black Coq